plz help i m writing a story. Is it good enough?

What color flowers goes with a red wedding dress & light pink bridesmaid dresses?
May 11, 2011
Why do women expect men to spend ££££ on wedding dresses and wedding rings?
May 11, 2011
jack asked:

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Ok here’s a story ill contribute. the concept i read a long time ago but since i have a thing
for navels i will make the entire story based around it…

a lady needed to buy a dress for her sister’s wedding so she went to a tailor’s shop to get
a dress made. she entered the shop seeing only men working there. the
man behind the counter was handsome but had a slightly mischievous look about him.
the man, raj, observed the lady who was fair with a light tan on her face, but her chest area
was very fair. she was wearing a buttoned up shirt and jeans. she looked about 22 and had
big lips and an innocent smile.

“i need to get a dress made for my sister’s wedding.”
“sure, but first we need to take ur measurements,” said the man.
“okay,” she said, looking around to see if there were any women workers around to do this
task. but there were none.

raj lead her to a large cubicle that had glass mirrors on all 3 walls. his young helper was holding
tools and measuring tape for him.
“so…you’re going to take my measurements?” she asked.
“yes. actually one of our female workers is away for the weekend so for now i have to look
after our female customers too.” raj was telling the truth, but his expression was telling a lie;
he very much anticipated this opportunity and was very happy.
“hmm alright,” said the lady, looking around once more.

raj took the measuring tape and clipboard and entered the cubicle. he then shut the door.
sarah bit her lip, thinking this was not an appropriate situation to be in. a man was about
to take her measurements in a closed cubicle!!

raj took the tape and put it around sarah’s waist. sarah was slim but she had a wide
waist and had love handles that were aching to be squeezed. although she was slim,
her tummy had some fat deposits, as did her arms. raj at first did nothing to lift up or unbutton
her shirt for better measuring. he slid his hands (with the tape measure) around her waist and
felt her soft chubby waist area. as he did so he pressed his fingers into her waist; she was so
soft that his fingers seemed to melt into her skin. raj was getting turned on, while sarah was
looking down at her belly seeing how he was measuring her.

“ur shirt is very thick so i might be getting the wrong measurements,” raj said calmly.
“i think so too. ill unbutton a bit,” said sarah, innocently thinking he was being professional.
she unbuttoned the bottom 3 buttons of her shirt, the upper ones holding her soft, rounded
breasts. now raj could slightly see her navel but didnt try to move her shirt aside. he took the tape
and repeated the process. as he slid his hands across her waist, he could now feel the heavenly
softness of her skin. as his hands reached her front, his fingers slid across her navel, but never
explored its depths.

but raj thought better of it. he started small talk with her, asking her name, job, etc. etc. and as he
did so he measured her waist for the 3rd time, this time as he reached her navel area he put his
index finger inside, hoping she wouldnt notice. it went in almost to the first line, surprising
raj about how deep it was. and while they were talking he didnt take his finger out. she didnt seem
to notice. he moved his finger around, being very careful not to poke her navel deeply in case she
noticed. his finger explored the upper ridge, and the sides. the bottom of her navel smoothed
out beautifully onto her belly. putting it in slightly deeper at, he noticed that the end of her navel had
skin that converged, making raj think he could get his finger in even deeper inside the closed up area.
he had to find out.

there was a chair and he sat on it. once again, he took the tape and measured her waist. this time
sarah looked quizzical.
“your measuring it again?”
“yes. here we take accurate measurements, taking into account a tight fit and a loose fit. therefore
i need to take mutiple measurements to ensure that your dress doesnt become tight or too loose, but
just the right fit.”
this time, raj got to see dead straight into her navel. it was deep, and he predicted correctly: it would
go deeper if he dug inside. he wondered how deep it would go after that. as he took his fingers across
her belly, he put his finger in her navel and poked it this time. sarah looked down at him and wondered
why he put his finger in her navel. she was completely unfamiliar with navel attraction and had no idea
how erotic and sexy her own navel was.

raj wanted to save her navel for later. now he moved on to her upper parts. he stood up and enclosed the
tape around her breasts. they seemed like they wanted to pop out under the pressure of her tight buttoned
shirt. as he measured his fingers outlined the edges of her boobs, feeling that they wanted some air. this
time he didnt even ask. he started unbuttoning her top buttons. she looked up at him but im

8 Comments

  1. cathrl69 says:

    Good enough for what?

    It’s basically poor soft porn. And is there a reason you are unable to use the shift key?

  2. brb says:

    so are they gonna do it or what?

  3. Amanda says:

    Rule One of Writing: Always use correct spelling and grammar, and CAPITALIZE. Other writers won’t take you seriously. This sounds like a summary of your novel, not a chapter, until you get to the (strange/unnecessary) make-out scene.

  4. Meep Zorp says:

    No.

    It is boring and hard to read.

  5. BRIAN says:

    Getting a dress made at a tailors shop? Do the men in your story go to a dressmakers for a suit. I can’t see a story there just an attempt at erotica and I have to say not a very good one either. Try writing properly and using capital letters etc and that way you might get a better response although probably not with this story.

  6. Wendy_the_pooh says:

    Its kinda good but just capitalize its good just write a little more clearer

  7. Paul says:

    sorry but this is bad. the grammer is poor, the structure is lacking, severly. and it is set up and presented poorly from the start. besides, tailors? bridal shops where they take generic mseurments are what is done now, plus why would the guy say “im gonna take your mesurments for your sisters dress, that makes perfect sense!”
    sorry but you need to go back to the drawing bord. even the erotica aspect is poor and kinda boring
    sorry to be harsh but im just honest

  8. WRITEfluidity says:

    Well, I stopped after reading the part, “Fair, but with a light tan.” Are you confused as to what the defination of fair is? Fair is to have pale and unblemished skin. So how can you have a light tan with fair skin? I’ll answer that for you.
    You can’t.
    End of story. There was grammar errors and I didn’t even get started onto the second paragraph. You need work, and in order for other writers to judge and critiqu, you’re going to have to make sure the story is stiched up as best as possible. Like I said, work on it.

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